CSB/SJU Conniptions April Fools: 1994-2001, 2002-2009 (Not Published in 2002 or 2008: ceased in 2009), 1994-2009

CSB/SJU Conniptions April Fools: 1994-2001, 2002-2009 (Not Published in 2002 or 2008: ceased in 2009) Issues of Conniptions are stored here (April 1, 1994 to 2003) Conniptions -- An April Fools Day publication by anonymous CSB/SJU Faculty Begun on April 1, 1994, it was followed by copies on April 1 in 1995, 1996, 1997. 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009 (Note: 2002 is missing or was never published; not published in 2010) Conniptions, April 1, 1994 University and College Undergo Name Change New Faculty Position Options are Announced Revised Course and Core Guidelines Regents and Faculty Seek Unity Leadership Program Seeks Leader New Honors Director Speakers Named for Graduations Awards Awarded New Class Schedule Ovals Make Big Time Faculty News New Housing Projected for 1995-1996 Abbey Church Will Travel

Conniptions, April 1, 2000 Queen's Calligrapher Hospitalized for Carpal Tunnel Syndrome When You Care Enough to Send Away the Very Best She's an "Engel" in Motion Men's Studies Speaker Warns against Risks for Men We Put the "SELL" Back iN Ex-SELLENCE!! Corporate Logo-Centric! Coordination Over-rated, Argue the Boards Caramel Franklin Chair in Horsepersonship 2001: Odyssey & Harriet Faculty and Staff in the News... Crime Report Students to Conduct JT sans Faculty Gala at DelWin Ballroom: Cabaret Night! New Headquarters for Conniptons

Conniptions, April 1, 2001 A New Virus Attacks CSB/SJU Computer Network President Mary Lyons Clamps Down on "Vagina Day" "Penis Day" Plans Squashed by President Reinhart Ex Corduroy Eglesiae Back in the News FA Space: The Final Frontier Karaoke Me! Faculty Weep while Curriculum Burns, Look for Loopholes Modern & Classical Languages Gets with the Program St. John's University Spruces Up Neighborhood Abbot Votes to Reformulate Relationship with CSB New V.P. of Benedictine Values Will Have to Say Mouthful On the Road Again Patent Leather Shoes Banned at CSB/SJU Faculty & Staff in the News... Crime Report Conniptions Editors Lured out of Retirement A Dime a Dozen More Beach Woes Students Gather Readign Lists -Dean's Top 5 The Great Unpaved Once Again Meet Spring CSB/SJU Nears Menopause Faculty Searches All Sound & Fury, Signifying Provost Goes on Pardon-Spree South-East Learning Community "Off and Running" Johnston Re-Appointed Bishop of Core Important Message from IT Services Trends Makes Impact Clear

Conniptions, April 1, 2003 New Academic Structure Announced Provost's Restructuring Consultant Reports on Findings New Shield Brandished Swiss Army Knife Curriculum on the Cutting Edge Late Addition to Faculty's Favorite Books Display Investigation of Administrative Pyramid New PC LCs for 2003-2004 Plans to Assess Bible Project Illuminated New May Term Courses Announced Can You Say "Summer Revenue?" Health Claims Alarm HR Administrative Openings for Division Heads Smorynski to Join Communication Faculty Vocation PRoject Calendar of Events Alternative Academic Structure Floated Yovost the Provost Seeks Input To Market, To Market FYS Syllabi Infractions Faculty and Staff in the News... Between a Vice Chair and a Hot Seat Search for an American Title And the Former Things... Temperature in Hell Drops: May Freeze Over Soon

Conniptions, April 1, 2005;

Conniptions, April 1, 2006: Communite Forum Planned Food Service Dishes Up New Curriculum Accolades for New Core Rogue Minutes Recovered Consistently Inconsistent LES Announces Session: "Know Your Scotts" Apr 1. Watch Where You Step Let Them Eat Cake! Management on Mars Presidential dwelling envy Faculty/Staff in the News Administrators Rush for Black Gold Banner treated for depression Provost Speaks Out New Core Themes Confirmed Farewell to Friends

Conniptions, April 1, 2007: Baenninger Closes Girly Programs; Learning Goals Accepted for the Common Core; New learning Goals Template; Symposium Split Know your Former Administrators; Crime Report; Kantian Koup Kontained; New Academic Calendar 2007-2008 Announced; New Faculty Governance Structure Announcement Official Euphemisms approved by the Boards; Last Minutes News Flashes.

Conniptions, April 1, 2009 Benefits News Going Out of Business, in Style Coordinate Relationship Finds Harmony LORD Smites SJU Amenities Race to the Bottom! Critics of Faculty Senate Proved Wrong Scott Johnson Demands Recount Education Away When In Rome... Exclusive: Let's Call the Whole Thing Off Humanities Division Meets at Full Moon Associate Provost and Academic Dean Asks Disgruntled Faculty to Contribute to Admissions Program Upcoming Friday Forums Lawsuit Pending Monastic Idol Climactic Climax in Commencement Competition Conniptions Conniption Pot-lucky! Conniptions, 2010 -No Conniptions published this year.